What if by Randall Munroe

Unfortunately for the internet, Deluca is back…

I am back at it again, and this time it will actually stick. I write a lot all of the time so I figure why not have some of it which the world can read…

I am not entirely certain what I am trying to do with this, other than talk really. In some kind of vague and unenthusiastic attempt to remain sort of relevant in this ubiquitous and shallow society I have inexorably found myself in.

I have a lot of vague irritations and a lot of things I want to say but being a crippling shy introvert on anything I cannot control, I more or less always tend to hide these things beneath layers and layers of what will inevitably, one day be used as evidence to have me institutionalised.

I am smart, and I mean very smart. Not the smartest on the planet but to be honest, the planet only measures one type of intelligence, the ability to recall and apply information, but there are many other versions of being smart. Humanity has some kind of relatively basic understanding of this now but it is still young.

I want to be a writer, have wanted nothing but since I was incredibly small. The first thing I can vaguely remember writing was a story about a triceratops when I was very young, maybe 2 or 3… It was probably awful but hey it was my first attempt, the second story I wrote was about the film Independence Day when I was around five (A FIVE YEAR OLD WATCHING INDEPENDENCE DAY, HOW COULD YOUR PARENTS COPE!?).

My parents were more or less hippies, so as long as I wasn’t stabbing people or trying to make too much fuss about something they were happy to let me do it.

I have a weird ability to recall basically all the lines from ‘How I met your Mother’ and have some inclination as to where in the series as a whole the line comes from, as well as spout some of the most useless information you will ever hear (Like the line between the two numbers in a fraction is called the vinculum), I am depressingly well versed in different kinds of exercise, and I love tea.

But ultimately I want this project to give me some sense of fulfilment, as aside from everything and anything, anyone says, all people really care about in the end of the day is those who are closest to them, whether that be a dog, a child or a brother. I waste a hell of  a lot of my time watching some of the most useless wastes of time in the universe but I seem to be addicted to it, like I am afraid of my own thoughts and feelings.



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