You can love and hate something at the same time…

I constantly live in state of confusion and bewilderment… Not the good kind either… Well it can be I suppose.

I think I should possibly do a little bit of enlightening so that you aren’t quite so confused about what is going on.

The subject of this paticular entry is music, and the delight it doth bring. 

I have a very love/hate relationship with music. 

It is very hard for me to find a song I like to the extent that I feel comfortable adding it to my list of songs, and in even rarer circumstances I will add the whole play-list from a band (There are, officially, only two instances of this happening in my entire life). 

I have been told that is because their songs are very similar but it works, so I care as little for that as Chloe Webber cares for her vagina. 

I have no idea if that is actually who I mean but I think it hardly matters… Some d-list celebrity who shags as many things as possible in some vain attempt to remain even remotely relevant. 

I suppose in that sense I may have autism but that’s a subject for another day. I am referring to my oppinion on music not to d-list celebrities.

But I cannot concentrate on anything that requires advanced reasoning skills if music is on. I find it so hard to concentrate on anything if the TV is on, even if it is really quiet or in the background. So you can imagine music is more or less the same thing.

This could be further evidence that I may have some kind of anxiety disorder but more than likely it is just delightful ADHD.

But yes let’s tackle that issue above in stages, music and TV.

Music helps me focus on a subconscious stream of none-sense that helps me write things down without the internal critic having a go at me. 

But if I am trying to write something serious which takes higher levels of thought, I can’t have it on, I need space to critically think. I can’t do this with something on, even partially. I cannot even sleep with something on, my brain will always concentrate on it, making sleep impossible. 

People are even distracting when I want to think at this level, even if they aren’t saying or doing anything. 

But oddly enough I love being on my own, watching people and writing… Well that sounds more odd now that I have said it aloud (Or more accurately written it down). 

On the flip-side TV is just, 1-million percent, a concentration killer. As is my computer when I am tired and bored on a night-time, watching about a thousand YouTube videos. It kills all my drive to do anything and I find it so much harder to hold onto thoughts like this. 

… Anyway!

Stay tuned for more delightful displays of my madness as well as my inevitable break down into some kind of high functioning sociopath! 

As well as, hopefully, my ascent to the throne of Dry Sarcasm.

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