Possibly one of the strangest sleeps ever.
I had a very odd night of sleep today, I was so darn tired I fell asleep at eight and woke up at two in the morning.
I am not entirely certain as to why stuff like this occurs. I do try and sleep normally but my diet on Sunday was acceptioanally poor meaning that it was very hard to stay awake.
Too much protein makes me a sleepy person… But I am fairly certain that is a biological reaction not just a genetic one.
I should have some more sleep on account of the fact that I have some pretty exhausting work today, including a horrifying gym session planned.
This just highlights the use of patterns in sleep and food etc. As the moment something is knocked off or out, the whole thing unravels and it feels like you have to start the whole thing again.
Human beings are such terribly fragile creatures. Yet they are also some of the hardiest things in existence.
We have no ‘centre’… I spent years, possibly even decades discovering this.
I, for such a long time, tried to centre myself; find some kind of middle ground before engaging in a task. Somewhere I was happy and safe, felt good about myself and calm, before tackling things like school work or emotional problems.
As I had already long since come to the awareness that when people were not happy, safe, calm or felt good, their decisions tended to be biased in some way.
But as much as I tried, I couldn’t ‘centre’ myself and I tried a lot. I tried differing techniques as well, from meditation to yoga, the closest I think I have ever come is with exercise, which is probably the reason I am obsessed with it. But unfortunately none of them worked for any longer than a few minutes.
Subject related to exercise: This is also possibly the reason why the Buddhist Warriors of the Shaolin Monastery, China are probably one of the most centred people in existence. As they train everyday of their lives. Anyway, moving on…
There is no centre to existence as a human being, there is only ever searching for it…
So if you are like I used to be, waiting to feel just right to do anything, you won’t ever do anything.
Besides whatever you are doing you should love anyway, and you should know by now that you must suffer for your art. Anything worth doing is hard to do…
Besides you won’t feel the suffering, you’ll be too distracted by your passion for you to even notice discomfort.
You will be far too happy… And I don’t mean happy as in unconsciously happy, there may be an element of that but you will be far beyond the second level of Maslows Pyramid of Needs to experience this kind of happy…
Have I ever mentioned that English needs more words?