Well that got very real, very fast…

Why do I feel like today is a ‘back to the gym’ kind of day?

I was there less than 48 hours ago… But I am getting my act together for the gym now… 

I have gone back to designing my sessions beforehand so as to avoid issues like not knowing what to do. 

Which was my issue the last time I went to the gym plus then I won’t waste too much time deciding what to do.

(I have left some room for creativity by not stating what weight I will be doing… Oh and I am being slightly nerdy by stipulating the training system.)

But it probably feels like a back to gym day as the last time I was there I did not really do a whole lot. 

I was too tired and I was realy hungry so I did some stuff but not having a plan made me feel super-lazy, eventually leading to me giving up after not really focussing on much. 

So I went… But not much actually happened… 

(The gym is a majestic place where mostly no one messes with your set… That joke is probably only funny to me.) 

After getting ny new phone and discovering a delightful feature, also known as a pedometer, I have been paying far more attention to my steps, making sure I do at least 10,000 per day.

This is an awesome idea plus I have mixed cardio back into my gym schedule as well as focus more on endurance styled sets rather than strength… This oddly had also helped to improve my form.

But I think my knowledge of form has helped to cement this need to constantly think about and correct my bodies form during any exercise. 

But yes I have a actual issue I would like to discuss with… Well I guess this issue would be with reality.

I consistently date people who live really, really far away, for the past few years… Well it has been, about three or four years since I last dated someone who lived in the same area code as me…

Now, I was going to say this is an issue but it kind of sounds worse when I say out aloud… Or write on the page (That doesn’t really have the same ring to it). 

Don’t worry I’m not that crazy I have seen the people I have dated, I try to make sure we have trips or visits at least once a month but when things don’t quite go according to plan I can be waiting a while to see them.

We could go into the psychology as to why, and probably turn up a lot of interesting things, some of which may even possibly be true but that, for once, is not what this is about. 

(And let’s face it… I have a lot of them…)

I am more interested in focussing on the fact that I don’t actually think I have ever felt this way about anyone… 

She is an amazing and sweet person, and she even likes me… For some reason. She is also weirdly similar to me

I mean I am going to go and see her tomorrow… Well technically it will be the day after I arrive, as I get there around ten past one in the morning. 

Theoretically according to the new plan we made up last night we shouldn’t really go longer than two weeks now without seeing each other at least once… Which would be amazing of it works as I think I will actually be the happiest person alive.

I know I an usually the cynic, or at least the realist and I know my chances of things going well are comparatively small… But that is something I will never be able to thank her enough for, she gave me back my ability or at least my wasn’t to take risks, she gave me back my hope for the future…

The future of mankind is incredibly bleak, and I don’t mean my personal future. 

It may not even happen in my lifetime, it probably will, but it may not. We will return to the delightful ooze of chaos and anarchy. I have always seen this as an inevitability…

But after my time with her… I feel like I don’t have to face it on my own, I feel like I don’t have to face the whole of life on my own, and to be fair, in a very literal way she gave me back my ability to believe in people.

Maybe we aren’t all horrible… Maybe there are some nice people…

I’m an introvert so outside of the media’s portrayal of people and in this sense I don’t mean just the news, I mean every form of visual representation… 

Some forms obviously carry more weight than others but that’s because of the society I grew up in not the merit of the art form.
So this has painted people in kind of a bad light… No wonder the older generation has more faith in people, they didn’t have such readily available access to media technologies than the ones after them. 

But then again that is something else I grew up away from, old people. The oldest person in my life is my dad and as he is less than 25 years older than me he is not exactly old per se. 

So being anti-social certainly has its disadvantages…

Anyway where was I?

Oh yes, this is something I genuinely feel that I would never say again; I think I’m in love with someone.

There is something I would like to say connecting antisociability, being logical and the crushing result on personal psychology, leaving you incapable of articulating your emotions well, but I will leave that for another entry as I been going on for a while here…

Plus I really need to go to the gym as if I do not I will miss it for two days! But that is just not going to happen…

Peace… Or anarchy, depending on what you want. 


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